Feeling Lost In Midlife? Here’s How I’m Finding My Way Back
Not too long ago, I found myself in a place I never expected—lost. Not physically lost, but emotionally, mentally, and even a little spiritually. I had spent years pouring myself into being everything for everyone else—working, raising a family, chasing goals I thought I should want. And then one day, I woke up and realized I had no idea what I actually wanted anymore.
Midlife has a way of sneaking up on you like that. You hit a point where you start questioning everything—your career, your relationships, your passions, even your body. It felt like I was standing at a crossroads, but with no idea which direction to take. I kept asking myself, Is this it? Is this all I’m meant to do?
For a while, I sat in that feeling, unsure of how to move forward. But the more I reflected, the more I realized that feeling lost wasn’t a sign of failure—it was an invitation. An invitation to figure out who I was beyond the roles I had played for so long.
How I Started Finding My Purpose Again
1. Finding the Right Therapist & Exploring Different Types of Therapy
One of the biggest steps I took toward rediscovering myself was deciding to go to therapy. I’d always believed in the power of self-reflection, but I realized I needed more than just my own thoughts bouncing around in my head—I needed guidance.
Finding the right therapist wasn’t an overnight process. There are so many different types of therapy, and what works for one person might not be the best fit for another. I started exploring:
DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) – This has been a game-changer for me. DBT focuses on mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness—all skills that help navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs. It’s been incredibly helpful in shifting my perspective and breaking old patterns.
Attachment Therapy – This type of therapy helped me understand how my early experiences shaped the way I approach relationships, boundaries, and even my sense of self-worth.
Shadow Work – A deeper, more introspective approach, shadow work has helped me face the parts of myself that I had ignored or suppressed, allowing me to heal and grow.
Therapy has been a process, and I’m still figuring things out, but having the right support system has made all the difference in helping me feel more grounded and capable of moving forward.
2. Rediscovering What Lights Me Up
I had to ask myself: What do I actually enjoy? Not what I thought I should enjoy, but what truly energized me. Writing has always been my outlet, but I had ignored it for years. Strength training became another passion—something that not only made me feel physically strong but also gave me a sense of control when everything else felt uncertain.
3. Embracing Being a Beginner Again
Starting over is scary, and I won’t pretend it wasn’t uncomfortable. Whether it was launching a new business, shifting my career, or even just stepping into the gym with a new routine, I felt awkward. But I had to remind myself: midlife isn’t an ending, it’s a fresh start. Being a beginner isn’t a failure—it’s a sign of growth.
4. Reframing Midlife as a Reboot, Not a Crisis
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking midlife is a downhill slope, but I refused to let that be my story. Instead of seeing this phase as an ending, I started seeing it as a reboot—a chance to redefine what success, happiness, and fulfillment look like for me.
5. Taking Small, Imperfect Steps Forward
Clarity doesn’t come from sitting still and overthinking (trust me, I tried that). It comes from action. I stopped waiting for the perfect plan and just started doing—writing, creating, moving my body, trying new things. Little by little, I started to feel like me again.
You’re Not Lost—You’re Becoming More You
If you’re feeling lost right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and some days, I still struggle with it. But what I’ve learned is this: feeling lost isn’t a sign that you’ve failed—it’s a sign that you’re on the edge of something new.
Midlife isn’t about fading into the background. It’s about stepping forward, reclaiming yourself, and deciding that this next chapter will be your best one yet.
So if you’re standing at that same crossroads, unsure of what’s next, my advice? Take a step. Any step. And trust that you’re on your way.
