Feeling Lost In Midlife? Here’s How I’m Finding My Way Back

Not too long ago, I found myself in a place I never expected—lost. Not physically lost, but emotionally, mentally, and even a little spiritually. I had spent years pouring myself into being everything for everyone else—working, raising a family, chasing goals I thought I should want. And then one day, I woke up and realized I had no idea what I actually wanted anymore.

Midlife has a way of sneaking up on you like that. You hit a point where you start questioning everything—your career, your relationships, your passions, even your body. It felt like I was standing at a crossroads, but with no idea which direction to take. I kept asking myself, Is this it? Is this all I’m meant to do?

For a while, I sat in that feeling, unsure of how to move forward. But the more I reflected, the more I realized that feeling lost wasn’t a sign of failure—it was an invitation. An invitation to figure out who I was beyond the roles I had played for so long.

How I Started Finding My Purpose Again

1. Finding the Right Therapist & Exploring Different Types of Therapy

One of the biggest steps I took toward rediscovering myself was deciding to go to therapy. I’d always believed in the power of self-reflection, but I realized I needed more than just my own thoughts bouncing around in my head—I needed guidance.

Finding the right therapist wasn’t an overnight process. There are so many different types of therapy, and what works for one person might not be the best fit for another. I started exploring:

• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) – This has been a game-changer for me. DBT focuses on mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness—all skills that help navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs. It’s been incredibly helpful in shifting my perspective and breaking old patterns.

• Attachment Therapy – This type of therapy helped me understand how my early experiences shaped the way I approach relationships, boundaries, and even my sense of self-worth.

• Shadow Work – A deeper, more introspective approach, shadow work has helped me face the parts of myself that I had ignored or suppressed, allowing me to heal and grow.

Therapy has been a process, and I’m still figuring things out, but having the right support system has made all the difference in helping me feel more grounded and capable of moving forward.

2. Rediscovering What Lights Me Up

I had to ask myself: What do I actually enjoy? Not what I thought I should enjoy, but what truly energized me. Writing has always been my outlet, but I had ignored it for years. Strength training became another passion—something that not only made me feel physically strong but also gave me a sense of control when everything else felt uncertain.

3. Embracing Being a Beginner Again

Starting over is scary, and I won’t pretend it wasn’t uncomfortable. Whether it was launching a new business, shifting my career, or even just stepping into the gym with a new routine, I felt awkward. But I had to remind myself: midlife isn’t an ending, it’s a fresh start. Being a beginner isn’t a failure—it’s a sign of growth.

4. Reframing Midlife as a Reboot, Not a Crisis

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking midlife is a downhill slope, but I refused to let that be my story. Instead of seeing this phase as an ending, I started seeing it as a reboot—a chance to redefine what success, happiness, and fulfillment look like for me.

5. Taking Small, Imperfect Steps Forward

Clarity doesn’t come from sitting still and overthinking (trust me, I tried that). It comes from action. I stopped waiting for the perfect plan and just started doing—writing, creating, moving my body, trying new things. Little by little, I started to feel like me again.

You’re Not Lost—You’re Becoming More You

If you’re feeling lost right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and some days, I still struggle with it. But what I’ve learned is this: feeling lost isn’t a sign that you’ve failed—it’s a sign that you’re on the edge of something new.

Midlife isn’t about fading into the background. It’s about stepping forward, reclaiming yourself, and deciding that this next chapter will be your best one yet.

So if you’re standing at that same crossroads, unsure of what’s next, my advice? Take a step. Any step. And trust that you’re on your way.

Midlife Isn’t a Crisis—It’s an Edit (With a Few Plot Twists)

At some point, someone decided that hitting midlife meant plunging headfirst into a "crisis." They made it sound like one day you’re drinking your morning coffee, and the next, you’re impulse-buying a red convertible and getting bangs (don’t do it!) But what if midlife isn’t about losing yourself—it’s about finally figuring out who you are?

I’m in that process right now. And let me tell you, it’s a trip.

What Does "Finding Yourself" Even Mean?

For a long time, I thought "finding yourself" was a concept reserved for 22-year-olds backpacking through Europe with a copy of Eat, Pray, Love. But here’s the thing—midlife is actually the perfect time for self-discovery. You’ve spent years building a life, checking off all the boxes society hands you, and then one day, you wake up and wonder:

• Do I even like the things I do every day?

• Are these beliefs actually mine, or just ones I absorbed?

• Why do I still get weirdly defensive when someone critiques my music choices?

It’s not about reinventing yourself into some “better” version. It’s about peeling back the layers of expectations and seeing what’s underneath. That’s where therapy comes in.

Trying Therapy Like It’s a Fitness Program for Your Brain

I recently started therapy—not just the “talk about your feelings” kind, but a deep dive into different styles like:

• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) – Originally designed for people with intense emotions (hi, it’s me), DBT teaches skills like emotional regulation and distress tolerance. Basically, it’s Jedi training for handling life without losing your mind.

• Attachment Therapy – This one digs into how childhood relationships shape our adult patterns. Ever wonder why you over-apologize or feel the need to prove your worth? Yeah, me too. It gets rough, buckle up.

• Shadow Work – Sounds dramatic, right? Like something a wizard does before a big battle. But it’s about facing the parts of yourself you’ve shoved in a mental closet. Turns out, ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. In fact, they come back to haunt you in ways you don’t even realize.

Each of these has been a different kind of workout for my brain. Some days it feels empowering, and other days I wonder if I’ve unlocked too much self-awareness (Can I return this? Is there a refund policy? Why doesn’t it go away if I just ignore it?!).

The Funny Thing About Healing

Here’s what I didn’t expect: therapy isn’t about “fixing” yourself because you were never actually broken. It’s more like decluttering—you go in, grab all of those boxes in the basement, and decide what’s worth keeping.

Some things are no longer useful (like people-pleasing). Others just need a little polishing (hello, boundaries). And some parts of you? They’re golden—you just forgot they were there.

Midlife: The Edit, Not the Crisis

So no, I’m not having a crisis. I’m having an edit.

I’m rewriting old narratives, cutting out the fluff, and keeping what actually serves me. I’m doing the work to “sit in my shit” and not just figure out the why but also get (and use!) the tools that I need to conquer things as they come up. Some days it’s heavy, but other days it feels like unlocking cheat codes to a better, freer life. And honestly? That’s way cooler than a convertible.

If you’re feeling that midlife itch—the one that makes you question everything—lean into it. Try therapy. Ask big questions. Laugh at the absurdity of it all. Because this stage of life isn’t about panicking. It’s about finally getting real.

And maybe, just maybe, figuring out once and for all if bangs are a good idea.

The Midlife Circus

Ah, midlife—a magical time where your body decides to play a game of Who Even Are You Anymore? Let’s be real, this stage isn’t for the faint of heart, but it’s also full of moments so absurd you just have to laugh. So grab your reading glasses (you probably need them now) and let’s dive into the delightful chaos of midlife body changes.

The Great Weight Debate

Remember when you could eat half a pizza, wash it down with a milkshake, and still fit into your jeans? Yeah, me neither. Somewhere between I feel great! and Why don’t my pants fit? your metabolism decided to slow down to a casual crawl. Now, your body treats a slice of bread like it’s a five-course meal, and you’re left Googling things like “how to lose weight while just sitting.” Spoiler: no solid results there.

Exhaustion for No Reason

Gone are the days when you could stay up until midnight watching Netflix and still bounce out of bed. Now, you wake up tired, stay tired, and by 8 p.m., you’re in full pajama mode, ready for bed like it’s the highlight of your day. Who knew brushing your teeth could feel like a marathon?

Hello, Hormonal Rollercoaster

Hot flashes, mood swings, and brain fog—oh my! One minute you’re laughing, the next you’re crying because you can’t find your phone (spoiler: it’s in your hand). Your hormones have taken over, and they’re as unpredictable as a toddler on a sugar high. The good news? You’re not alone in this emotional funhouse. The bad news? It’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

The Facial Hair Fiasco

Ladies, let’s talk about the cruel joke that is midlife facial hair. One day you’re minding your own business, and the next, you’ve got a chin hair that’s long enough to braid. And don’t even get me started on the magnifying mirrors—those things are not your friend. Pluck it, shave it, wax it—whatever you do, don’t ignore it. That little guy will be back with friends if you’re not careful.

Embracing the Madness

The best part of all these changes? Realizing you’re still you—just with a bit more humor and resilience. Sure, midlife comes with its challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to embrace your quirks, laugh at life’s absurdities, and remind yourself that you’ve earned every wrinkle, chin hair, and hot flash.

So here’s to midlife—the wild, unpredictable, and downright ridiculous chapter we never saw coming. At least we’ve got each other and a solid pair of tweezers to get through it!